Chapter 33 - Three Days in NY

This is a hard post. I had both a CT & PET Scan yesterday (3/12) and both came back with their own horrible sets of results. New progression in lymphs, as well as quite a few other places, plus the one that was the most "a-ha" of all...a tumor in the soft tissue muscle wall in my back right flank---which, we now know, has been the source of my back pain. Not the abscesses, nor other cancerous lesions. 

I met with my allergist on my 2nd day at MSK and she was all gung-ho about tweaking the chemo cocktail on my 2nd line of chemo so I don't have any more allergic reactions. But after we received the scans today, my main oncologist came in with a different recommendation. She said she had even consulted with another oncologist on my case and they are both recommending the 3rd and final line of chemo.

I'm gonna admit, I was pretty hysterical while in the appointment with her. I said multiple times, "Yep - I know how this goes. Last line of chemo. Hospice. Dead." Through all of my sobbing, she corrected me by saying, "last line of chemo...bridge to trial."

Of the 2 trials I presented to her (from my previous trial fact-finding trip to CA a few weeks ago), she was on board with one of them. I said, "If I get a spot now, would I forgo this last resort of chemo regimen?" And she said, "Yes."
So, I now have a lot more on my to-do list:

✔ Continue on this course of antibiotics to get rid of my abscesses
✔ Urgency to get on the one trial that my oncologist liked, administered by USC Keck
✔ Explore palliative radiation for the metastases in my right back flank muscle
✔ Major ramping up of end-of-life planning. I honestly thought I had more time.

I appreciate everyone's support and encouragement over the past few days (1.5 years, rather) and ask for your continued prayers.

-Kate